»A love letter« by Jad Boureslan

My friends have warned me that I am wasting my years and long distance relationships don’t work. I didn’t listen. I learned German, watched German films, read German books and listened to German music. I simply wanted to know everything about you, and I enjoyed every moment of it. Until we were finally able be together. I knew that it’s not easy to leave home, friends and family, but I was sure that we can get through these obstacles. It’s been more than a year now since I’ve moved in, and sadly, today I’m no longer sure. We are struggling more than ever to understand one another. Our day-to-day problems had taken a toll on our relationship and we’re no longer making each other happy. And I wonder, why?

Maybe it’s because I was expecting it to be all fun. We do share a lot of hobbies like hiking, gardening and grilling. I also took on new hobbies for you, like beer. I’ve learned how to open a beer with virtually anything from a lighter to a 5-euro bill. I now even mix my beer with coke! My coke with Fanta! Do you know what do we call coke and Fanta back home? an accident. Here you call it Spezi! Not only that but also I began using a calendar, recycling, watching Tatort and wearing Jack Wolfskin. That’s all fine, it’s all part of normal compromises a couple has to do in a healthy relationship.

But some of your hobbies I was never able to enjoy. Like your obsession with paper-work. I tried to share this passion with you, I filled tons of forms and applications but I’m still not enjoying it. You know that I was with Dubai before. And I know you don’t particularly like her because she’s »Fake, oberflächlich und shopaholic« you say, and you might have a point, but in the seven years with her, I never had to fill as many forms as I did in my first week with you. We all can learn something from anyone if we can only drop our prejudices.

Maybe it’s because people never really get to know their partners before living with them, like their different habits. I am used to stay up late for example. I like to get my groceries at night sometimes, or hangout with friends at the mall till after midnight. And oh boy you love to sleep early! In fact, the night time for you is more of an apocalypse.

Maybe it’s because we have never met in stressful situations before. We’ve always met on vacations when the sun is shining and the worst thing that could happen is the waiter getting your “Wurst” late. But freezing sunless days are the real test for us. And the first few Wursts always taste good, but they tend to get boring after a while, even when you can make over a 1500 different types of them. And I do admire your creativity. But they all kind of still taste like Wurst. The truth is I really miss my vegetables, my salads, and no Kartoffelsalat, Fleischsalat and Wurstsalat do not count!

Maybe it’s because we have different expectations. Your weather expectations are quite different from mine for instance, when you say it’s “Frisch” (fresh) it basically means it’s freezing! When you say it’s “warm” it means it’s almost freezing. Sometimes I think if I take you to Mars one day, the first thing you’ll say stepping out of the space shuttle would be:”hmm schönes Wetter”!(nice weather). Yes, that was a joke, and yes I know it doesn’t make sense because we can’t possibly go to Mars. But never mind I got used to explaining my jokes now, and humour is not exactly why we’re together.  

I chose to be here for reasons more important than weather, humour, food or bureaucracy. I chose to be here because we share the same values. We believe in personal freedom, tolerance, solidarity and equality. And if we keep that in mind, maybe we can have a future together.


Yours forever