»I created this silent experimental web documentary as an observation to herself. In her silence, you read her inner thoughts.«

– Razan Haikal, filmmaker



»It is hard for me to tell who I really am, as I am still searching for myself. But in society’s definition: I am called Mahsa Nejad, ›Mahsa‹ the Persian name which means ›like the Moon‹. My birth certificate shows that I was born in Tehran 28 years ago. I am an animator and illustrator studying at Bauhaus University.«

»Back home, I grew up in a family and society that do not recognize what art is or what it could be. For them art cannot provide a real job. I became an artist by heart, drawing since the age I learned how to hold a pencil and sketch my favorite book characters while sitting on my bedroom's floor. But like many others, the easy road was to pursue an education that can provide a career and financial status. I kept created illustrations and art projects aside from my economics studies. I never felt satisfied with what my society’s expectation of how a woman’s life should be. Growing up in a pre-defined environment was challenging; I always felt different from many other women. I decided to define who I really am regardless of what others might expect out of me. So I took a step further to travel and become an artist.«

»During my last days in Iran, I thought to myself ›it’s happening, I am really going to Germany!‹. Time passed so quickly and I was overwhelmed by everything happening all at once. Saying goodbye to the life I had with family, friends, neighbors, my room, everything was overwhelming. I was hoping to leave as soon as I can. For me, leaving home felt like an escape.«

»The first night I reached Weimar, I didn’t really know where I was. I had that unsure feeling like a newborn who had its umbilical cord cut and just wants to get back inside its mother’s womb. I felt hovering in a new place I don’t know anything about.«

»One of the strangest things I still find somehow difficult getting used to in Germany is ›crosswalks‹. When cars stop for pedestrians, a voice inside my head tells me to stay and wait. I always feel better crossing an empty street, as it reminds me how cars back home were not trusted to stop for anyone. Until now, every time a car drives towards me, I would think to myself what if the car keeps going forward!«

»Believe it or not, my favorite place is the graveyard. During the first year, I used to take a walk through the graveyard back to my house. Whenever I feel like leaving my room and sit outside, I would walk deep into the graveyard and sit on my favorite spot; a wooden chair that hides between trees and bushes around the graves. Away from parks or public places, this is where I get inspired the most. I can write and sketch my ideas on a small notebook in quietness. In this place, people under the graves do not disturb my silence.«

»I took some leafless branches to create decorative art piece in my room. I placed them on side of a nearby tree so I can carry them back home after I finish my classes. Without a second thought, I immediately decided to place the branches in a water glass at home. As it is by nature to lose their leaves in winter, I want to give this plant a chance to live. If leaves started to grow out in the next months, then it will become my new plant.«

»My life experience here is a metaphor to a newborn child who learns to adapt and observes the world. My German language still feels like a three years old; that's how I describe it. When I work on my animation and illustration projects, I try to observe everything around me in a meaningful way; that is how I find my inspiration. I avoid any monotone routine and make my daily experiences become new again. A child observes the world around her with eyes of wonder, and so I try to see the world through the eyes of a child.«

»To children, the world and everything in it is new, something that gives rise to astonishment. It is not like that for adults. Most adults accept the world as a matter of course.« – Sophie’s World, Jostein Gaarder

»My art project ›The Wave‹ talks about humanity. It is a collection of hand sculptures that represents the human individuality in society. The hands, as humans, share similarities and uniqueness, yet no hand is like the other.«

»I never forget my past; It is part of who I am today. I follow my intuition and I am still on the path of discovering myself and keep creating work that I am proud of. I would tell women like me who have been through difficulties or has faced similar situations to have hope and work hard for what they believe in.«

»I am not a tourist; I moved to live, find myself, and follow my dream. I love to create art, but I am still learning; We may come from different places, but we are all the same. Everyone has a role and a story in this world, and my story is to tell my own and the stories of others.«

»In here, I share most of my art work.« - Mahsa Nejad

Filmmaker and Writer: Razan Haikal
www.razanhaikal.com
Copyright © Razan Haikal. 2017