MASK // MIRROR // SHADOW'
Abstract
The past few decades have seen the traits of ‘narcissism’ spread around and it has been labelled by social scientists as a ‘modern epidemic’. In accordance with the rapid change in society, the rise of individualism, in technology, and the environment we grow up in which result in narcissistic traits in various aspects and exist on a spectrum. At a healthy level, it can create a positive sense of self, making one confident, goal-oriented, resilient and ambitious. On the other hand, at a high level or in the state of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a person displays an inflated sense of self-importance and high levels of self-admiration, a need for constant attention and admiration from others, difficulty forming relationships, and a general lack of empathy for others.** These behaviours appear to convey an exaggerated sense of self-love, but what lies behind the mask is a fragile sense of self-worth, and they can cause destructive harm, not only to others, but also to oneself. To connect the issue with artistic-creative approach, to enhance the ecological forms of the social and to explore the silver lining of ‘narcissism’, this project embraced and interrogated the concept of narcissism in order to address the social psychological nature of environmental crises and to mention the trauma in early lives of an individual. Even though, humans are products of their society, community and family, there are massive complex layers in narcissism as it has been heavily involved in ‘modern society’ that can be analysed and discussed.
About the Project
‘MASK // MIRROR // SHADOW’ questions and examines our minds, thoughts, behaviours that impact ourselves and other human beings in the society. The interdisciplinary work that runs across psychology and art fields aims to challenge the viewers’ perception of themselves and their own invented realities by allowing them to interact with the work, contribute themselves as an instrumental of it and also reflect on themselves through the performance. I have an itch to talk about this mental condition and communicate it through art, to project the idea of NPD in both positive and negative areas. As we all know that we all fall somewhere along the narcissism kingdom and somehow we are both a narcissist and a victim at the same time. The project does not aim to labels or victimise anyone, but to engage all of us to the field of self-reflection and self-awareness.
Process
The concept started with self observation process of myself and found traits of ‘narcissism’ in me that are partially the results from the way I was raised and grew up. The parenting styles of my parents had followed some patterns that can be indicated as ‘narcissistic pattern’. From the observation, I realised that I also follow the exact same patterns of my parents and somehow I became an abuser in the previous relationships either with friends or romantically. Even though, there’s nothing in this project that meant to blame my parents or society that I grew up in as to be responsible for who I am today. However, it is necessary to mention the source of the idea that grab my interest in the first place.
After consulting with a psychologist, there is pointless to beat myself up for something I cannot undo. However, I have an itch to talk about it, since I am not the only one who suffers with these traits. Thus, I came up with an idea to make fun of myself and hope that others can relate and reflect themselves through my work.
I shared the idea with my friend, Zack Helwa, an artist and curator in Berlin, about the installation and performance that I had in mind. He was interested in taking part and there were 2 more friends, Felix and Cory who wanted to join. I provided the story, treatments, prompts and direction of the performance, then we broke down the elements and did an improvisation to come up with movement and sound ideas.
The exhibition and performance
The experiential installation and performance 'MASK // MIRROR // SHADOW’ aims to ironically communicate through the power of visualisation and perception of themselves. The installation consists of 6 three-dimensional contemporary works of various materials and medium. The viewers can experience as participation, relate to their experiences and posit themselves in an expanse that they not only observe but take part in.
Apart from the installation there is a theatrical performance inspired by the greek methodology, Narcissus. Guiding the audiences from the broken background of narcissists, to the transformation of self-esteem, then being overwhelmed by self absorption, the lack of empathy to themselves and to others, and finally the drowning into one’s own reflection that harm one’s self.
The main material I want to use is ‘ice’, as a modern interpretation of ‘water’ which is the core material in ‘Narcissus’ methodology. To add my idea into the original material, I use the logic behind the narcissistic way of thinking: the exaggerated desire to be loved, admired and to have the support of others. As water has been used as a self-reflector or mirror in ‘Narcissus’. The abstract and ironic logic behind ‘ice’ is to maintain that feeling of seeing oneself in the reflection forever as it is the endless reflection and absorption of oneself.
Therefore ‘ice’ has been use in this project as a main medium in the installation, performance and the making of sound. The sound we used in the performance had been recorded on the day from the ice on the stage along with other materials I use in the installation works. Purposely, we wanted to make it as live as possible in order to create a fresh energy and allow audiences to take part in the show as much as we can.
The performance aims to non-verbally define the terms of narcissism in multifaceted aspects and include the beauty and the beast of narcissistic traits. Even though, it does not indicate towards what is good and bad, as there is nothing as such but to create a safe space where we can equally explore ourselves and our complex minds. It purposely wants to seduce, embrace, stimulate and tickle the narcissist in all of us.
Before cracking the core of the norms, I firstly want to peel the shell by allowing us, everyone, to understand the difficulties of being limited in expression by using the natural performance of slime moulds to ironically represent the idea. There are two experiments conducted in this project, both of them shared the main idea of putting slime moulds into a controlling and challenging environment which firmly against their nature. Then, I observed their struggling patterns of not being able to access their food and documented them by photography and time-lapse, in order to convey the message of the project visually. The idea is to enhance the fact that we are diverse in every level and scale as well as other organisms, and we deserve to be able to release our passion and desire as free as possible. Otherwise, we will see this struggling pattern exists everywhere.
The project aims to increase sympathy, raise the standard of our social norms and slim down the inequality borders to allow women to express themselves as equal as other genders because we are all simply just the products of the nature.
Technique
The project contains two experiments and observations:
Experiment No.1: I put slime mould in a divided container which has 12 holes, then put agar into the bottom of every hole and put slime moulds and oats separately and left some of the holes empty. Slime moulds can easily sense the food but in order to reach, they need to find the way to access through the empty space between the holes. I record the movement by using time-lapse, photography and microscope.
Result: Slime mould used little bridges between the holes to reach the oats and some of them moved downwards to the bottom of the container and climbed up to the holes that full with oats and some of them used the lid of the container as a bridge to reach the oats. The empty holes that are not in between the oats and slime moulds were not part of the journey which means slime moulds still chosen the shortest paths instead of searching every hole but the journey took a bit longer than usual. In the end, they could take over most of the oat holes and grew very big then dried out because of the lack of agar. From the observation, I can see the hard work in the journey, and it was inspiring how they creatively manage to find the way to the food in a difficult situation.
Experiment No.2: I divided 2 sets of slime moulds lied on agar layer in a different type of container: one set can access their food easily while the other set was under controlled environment that prohibited them from accessing food. Both sets were put together in the same installation that is also designed by its position to project the idea of sexual hierarchy. Not only to observe the result that one can perform their acts of desire easier than the other in compared, but also to reflect the image of women who are mostly stuck in the controlling condition at the bottom of our ongoing patriarchal society. I aimed to see different results of how each set trying to reach the food.
Result: slime mould in both set took longer time than the first experiment to move around, the set at the top which can freely access to the oats did not move towards the oats easily, my assumption is because the opened environment of the container made the habitat becomes too dry and not easy for slime moulds to live. The other set at the bottom grew faster until they reached the edge of the covering glass, I put some of them outside of the glass to see if they can climb up to the oats. However, they stopped moving once the agar is too dry and could not make it to the oats. What I learn from this experiment is, even the desire for food was still there but when the basic factor such as habitat cannot support them, it is impossible for them to even live.
Conclusion
The struggling pattern that I expected to see before the experiments were not be seen the way I had imagined, however, it doesn’t mean that the slime moulds in both experiments did not suffer. The way that the experiments conducted already affects the freedom of living for slime mould itself. Some of them needed to go through a difficult journey, some of them needed to face a severe living environment. In the end, both groups dried out unnaturally in the containers that I put them in.
The outcome has affected my thinking process and the original idea of the project a lot. I was looking from the inside to the outside world and wanted to shout and make justice for women and somehow overlooked the fact that I am also part of our society and I might also be part of the problem that I was trying to solve. Thus, the experiments have opened my perspective to a wider level and also encouraged me to look back to myself deeper inside instead of only asking for acceptance from the society. Yet, I will continue facing and being against the injustice in our patriarchal system and the ridiculous norms that value women by our natural behaviours, in addition to that, I will also empower and encourage more from one woman to another beings regardless their genders in every level.
Visual
The project takes place in 2 rooms with high ceiling and 1 dark room. The first main room exhibits photographs of the two experiments, the photos are printed on transparent glass that can be seen through and from both front and back views. The photos are hanging from the wall on one side of the room. I want visitors to first get to know slime moulds and the idea of the project. The hanging transparent glassy photographs meant to make visitors feel light and open with the introduction of the project written on the wall.
Then the second room with the high ceiling displays the video of the project on a four-meter hanging screen. I want the visitors to experience the beauty of slime mould, the small living organism that are captured by microscope displaying on a big scale screen which is almost 3 times taller than average human height. The contrast of the scale meant to raise awareness of those feelings, emotions, desires that are invisible voices in our society by metaphorically comparing them to slime mould in nature, without microscope, we will not be able to see them living. In the same way, without close attention and caring, we will not be able to see those invisible voices. At the end of the video, the roughness increases in the rhythm and visual which leads the visitors to the last room.
The last room contains microscopic photographs edited in black and white, some are attached to the wall, some are laid down on the floor. This room meant to create an environment that makes visitors to feel uncomfortable. I want to share the feelings of struggling, pressure, oppression and unwelcoming from women that still strongly exist in our patriarchal society. In the end, I hope to increase sympathy to these invisible issues and raise awareness of power that everyone has in order to end the cycle of this ridiculous norm.
Video
The video of the project that shows on the four-meter screen in the second room.
Special thanks to:
Martin Müller - Bo Liu - Nicolas Krewer - Cosmo Niklas Schüppel